


Pilot (Season One, Episode One)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Episode: s01e01 Pilot, F/M, Screenplay/Script Format, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6657148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam be bout ta graduate from college n' has a rap battle set up ta join one of da most thugged-out prestigious law schools up in tha ghetto yo. His brutha Dean, whom dat schmoooove muthafucka has not peeped since da thug went ta college, shows up in tha middle of tha night n'  drops some lyrics ta his ass they daddy is missin while on a hustlin trip. Leavin his wild lil' freakadelic hoe behind ta find they dad, Sam joins Dean up in a effort ta find they daddy up in a lil hood called Jericho, where unhooked up pimps disappear without a trace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE

_(ext. den – night)_  
_Lawrence, Kansas_  
_22 years ago_  
_Dem scenes r’ definitively dated ta 2_ nov _2005._

Crickets chirp. a large deciduous tree wit’ no leaves stands outside one o’ several suburban homes.

_(int. nursery – night)_

Sum bitch, mary winchester, wearin’ a white nightgown, carries a small child, her asshole son dean, da fuck into a dark room.

 **Mary**  
Come on, letz say wack night ta yo’ goddamn brotha.

Mary turns on tha lights: dat shitz tha nursery o’ a baby, sam, Who the fuck be lyin’ in his muthafuckin’ crib n’ lookin’ ova at mary n’ dean. mary sets dean down. dean leans ova da side o’ da crib n’ kisses sam on da forehead.

 **Dean**  
‘night, sam.

Mary leans ova sam as well shiiit,.

 **Mary**  
Wack night, ludd.

Mary brushes samz hair back n’ kisses his muthafuckin’ forehead.

 **Thug**  
Hey, dean.

Dean turns. tha thug in tha doorway wearin’ a usmc t-shirt be jizzy. dean rushes ova ta his ass.

 **Dean**  
Daddy!

 **jizzy (thug)**  
Hey, buddy.

Jizzy scoops dean the fuck up.

 **jiZZY  
** So What the fuck do yo’ think? yo’ think sammyz ready ta toss 'round a football yet?

Dean shakes his mothafuckin head, laughin.

 **Dean**  
No, daddy.

Jizzy laughs.

 **Jizzy**  
No.

Mary passes jizzy n’ dean on da way out o’ da room.

 **Mary**  
Yo’ got his ass?

 **Jizzy**  
I got his ass.

Jizzy hugs dean closa.

 **Jizzy**  
Sweet dreams, sam.

Jizzy carries dean out o’ tha room, flippin’ off tha lights. sam watches 'em git, gurgling, then tries ta reach his muthafuckin’ toes.

Tha baseball-themed mobile above samz crib begins ta spin on itz own while sam watches. da transportation-themed clock on da wall ticks, ticks, stops. da moon-shaped nightlight flickers.

 _(int._ masta _bedroom – night)_

Lights flicka on a baby monitor sittin’ on a nightstand next ta a photo o’ mary n’ jizzy. strange noises come through da monitor. mary, asleep in bed, stirs. biatch turns on da light on da nightstand.

 **Mary**  
Jizzy?

Mary turns: biatchz alone. biatch gets the fuck up.

_(int. hallway – night)_

Mary walks down da hall ta samz nursery. jizzy, peep only in silhouette, stands ova samz crib.

 **Mary**  
Jizzy? be dude hungry?

Jizzy turns his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Thug**  
Shhh.

 **Mary**  
All right.

Mary heads back down da hallway. tha light by tha stairs be flickerin’. mary frowns n’ goes ta tap at dat shit till da light steadies.

 **Mary**  
Hm.

Mo’ flickerin’ light be comin’ from downstairs: mary investigates. a wa movie be on tv n’ jizzy has fallen asleep watchin’ dat shit. if jizzy be here, mary realizes, then da thug upstairs cannot be jizzy n’ must be a danga. biatch runs back upstairs.

 **Mary**  
Sammy! sammy!

Mary enters samz nursery n’ stops short.

_(int. livin’ room – night)_

Upstairs, mary screams. jizzy wakes the fuck up.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary?

Jizzy scrambles out o’ tha chair.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary!

Jizzy runs upstairs.

_(int. nursery – night)_

Jizzy bursts through tha closed door o’ tha nursery.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary.

Da room be quiet n’ appears empty except fo’ sam awake in his muthafuckin’ crib n’ jizzy. jizzy glances 'round n’ pushes down tha side o’ samz crib.

 **Jizzy**  
Hey, sammy. yo’ okay?

Somethang dark drips next ta sam. jizzy touches dat shit. two mo’ drops land on da back o’ jizzyz hand. dat shit looks like blood. jizzy looks the fuck up. mary be sprawled across tha ceiling, tha stomach o’ her asshole nightgown red wit’ blood, starin’ at jizzy n’ strugglin’ ta breathe. jizzy collapses onto da floor, starin’ at mary.

 **Jizzy**  
No! mary!

Mary bursts da fuck into flame. da fire spreads ova da ceilin’. jizzy stares, frozen. sam wails. jizzy, reminded dudez not alone, gets the fuck up n’ scoops sam out o’ his muthafuckin’ crib n’ rushes out o’ tha room.

_(int. hallway – night)_

Dean be awake n’ comin’ ta investigate.

 **Dean**  
Daddy!

Jizzy shoves sam at dean.

 **Jizzy**  
Take yo’ goddamn brotha outside as fast as yo’ can n’ don’t look back! naw, dean, git!

Dean turns n’ runs. jizzy turns back ta da nursery.

 **Jizzy**  
Mary!

Da entire room be on fire. mary her dirty ass can barely be peep.

 **Jizzy**  
No!

_(ext. den – night)_

Dean runs outside, holdin’ sam.

 **Dean**  
Dat shitz okay, sammy.

Dean turns ta look the fuck up at samz window, which be lit wit’ gold.

Jizzy runs outside, scoops the fuck up dean n’ sam, n’ carries 'em both away.

 **Jizzy**  
I gotcha.

Fire explodes out o’ samz nursery window.

 _(ext. den – night,_ lata _)_

Tha lawrence fire department has arrived. a firefighta gets out o’ a fire truck n’ takes ova at tha gauges fo’ anotha firefighta.

 **Firefighta**  
I got dat shit. yo’ git hold da line the fuck up.

Da second firefighta goes ta da back o’ da truck n’ takes a hose from a third firefighta. dat firefighta takes tha hose towards tha den Where the fuck a fourth firefighta be sprayin’ through samz nursery window. a paramedic opens da back o’ an ambulance. a police offica waves some neighbors back.

 **Offica**  
Stay back. yo’ have ta stay back.

Across tha street from tha den, jizzy n’ dean sit on tha hood o’ jizzyz impala, jizzy holdin’ sam. jizzy looks the fuck up at da remnants o’ da fire.


	2. ACT ONE

_Stanford university_  
Present day  
Dat shit be 31 oct 2005.  
“gasoline” by ginga begins ta play.  
Apartment  
(Int. bedroom – day)

**Young whore**  
Sam!

Da young whore, jess, comes ‘round a corner; biatch be wearin’ a sexy-nurse costume n’ adjustin’ her asshole hat. tha photo o’ mary n’ jizzy from earlia be on tha dressa.

**Jess  
** Git a move on, would yo’? ****

**Music  
** I’ve been shot from a cannon ****

**Jess  
** We were supposed ta be there like fifteen minutes ago. ****

Jess walks off.

**Jess  
** Sam! ****

**Music  
** I’m a huthug cannonball ****

**Jess  
** Yo’ comin’ or What the fuck? ****

A young thug pokes his muthafuckin’ head 'round da corner; dis be sam. dudez wearin’ jeans n’ three shirts, not a costume.

**Sam  
** Do i have ta? ****

**Jess  
** Yep! ****

**Music  
** I’m gonna fly high ****

**Jess  
** Dat shit’ll be fun. ****

Sam comes da fuck into da room.

**Jess  
** N’ Where the fuckz yo’ goddamn costume? ****

**Music  
** I’m gonna fall fall fall ****

Sam laughs n’ ducks his muthafuckin’ head.

**Sam  
** Yo’ know how tha fuck i feel 'bout halloween. ****

_(int. ba – night)_

Classicz “what cha gonna do” begins ta play.

**Music  
** Show me whatcha gonna do  
Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do  
R’ yo’ tryin’ ta git in  
Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do ****

Da ba be decorated fo’ halloween (includin’ a gargoyle wit’ cobwebs n’ a baseball hat dat says “get naked”). someone pours someone else a shot. y'all be in costume.

**Music  
** R’ yo’ gonna ride ****

Jess raises a glass as a young thug in a ghoul costume, luis, comes the fuck up ta da table Where the fuck sam n’ jess r’. sam be still not in costume.

**Jess  
** So herez ta sam— ****

**Music  
** Baby ****

**Jess  
** —and his muthafuckin’ kickass lsat victory. ****

**Sam  
** All right, all right, dat shitz not dat big a deal. ****

Jess, sam, n’ luis clink glasses.

**Jess  
** Yeah biatch, dude acts all humble.  
N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dude scored a one seventy-four. ****

Luis drinks his muthafuckin’ shot n’ so does sam.

**Luis  
** Be dat wack? ****

**Jess  
** Retarded wack. ****

Jess drinks.

**Luis  
** So there yo’ git. yo’ r’ a first-round draft pick. yo’ can git ta any law oldschool yo’ want! ****

Luis sits next ta sam.

**Sam  
** Actually, i got an interview here. monday. if dat shit goes okay i think i got a shot at a full ride next yea. ****

**Jess  
** Hey. dat shitz gonna git great. ****

**Sam  
** Dat shit betta. ****

**Luis  
** How tha fuck does dat shit feel ta be tha golden pimp o’ yo’ goddamn family? ****

**Sam  
** Ah, they don’t know. ****

**Luis  
** Oh, no, i would be gloating! Why the fuck not? ****

**Sam  
** Bcuz’ we’re not exactly tha bradys. ****

**Luis  
** N’ i’m not exactly tha huxtables. mo’ shots? ****

Jess n’ sam speak in chorus.

**Jess n’ sam  
** No. no. ****

**Sam  
** No. ****

Luis goes the fuck up ta tha ba anyway.

**Jess  
** No, seriously. i’m proud o’ yo’. n’ yo’’re gonna knock 'em dead on monday and yo’’re gonna git dat full ride. i know dat shit. ****

**Sam  
** What the fuck would i do without yo’? ****

**Jess  
** Crash n’ burn. ****

Jess smiles n’ pulls sam in fo’ a kiss.

**Music  
** R’ yo’ tryin’ ta git in **  
**Yeah biatch whatcha gonna do ****

_Apartment  
(int. bedroom – night)_

**Music  
** R’ yo’ gonna ride baby ****

Sam n’ jess lie in bed, asleep back ta back. jess shifts position.

A sound outside tha room, like a window openin’. sam opens his muthafuckin’ eyes.

_(int. apartment – night)_

Sam leaves da bedroom n’ looks 'round da apartment.

A window be open; earlia dat shit must have been closed. footsteps. a thug walks past da strings o’ beads at da fa end o’ da hall. sam moves ta anotha part o’ da apartment n’ waits. da thug enters da room. sam lunges forward n’ grabs da thug at da shoulda. da thug knocks samz arm away n’ aims a strike at sam, Who the fuck ducks. da thug grabs samz arm, swings his ass 'round, n’ shoves his ass back. sam kicks n’ be blocked, then pushed back da fuck into anotha room. if da thug hadn’t peep samz face before, dude sees dat shit naw; sam gets his muthafuckin’ first glimpse o’ da thug. tha thug elbows sam in tha face; sam kicks at his muthafuckin’ head. da thug ducks n’ swings n’ sam blocks. tha thug knocks sam down n’ pins his ass ta tha floor, one hand at samz neck n’ tha otha holdin’ samz wrist.

**Thug  
** Whoa, easy, tiga. ****

Sam breathes hard.

**Sam  
** Dean? ****

Dean laughs.

**Sam  
** Yo’ scared tha crap out o’ me! ****

**Dean  
** Datz 'cause yo’’re out o’ practice. ****

Sam grabs deanz hand n’ yanks, slammin’ his muthafuckin’ heel da fuck into deanz back n’ dean ta tha floor.

**Dean  
** Or not. ****

Sam taps dean twice Where the fuck sam be holdin’ his ass.

**Dean  
** Git off o’ me. ****

Sam rolls ta his muthafuckin’ feet n’ pulls dean the fuck up.

**Sam  
** What the fuck tha hell r’ yo’ doin’ here? ****

**Dean  
** Well shiiit,, i was lookin’ fo’ a bea. ****

Dean puts his muthafuckin’ hands on samz shoulders, shakes once, n’ lets git.

**Sam  
** What the fuck tha hell r’ yo’ doin’ here? ****

**Dean  
** Okay. all right. we gotta rap. ****

**Sam  
** Uh, da phone? ****

**Dean  
** If i’d'a called, would yo’ have picked the fuck up? ****

Jess turns da light on. biatch be wearin’ very short shorts n’ a cropped smurfs shirt.

**Jess  
** Sam? ****

Sam n’ dean turn their muthafuckin’ heads in unison.

**Sam  
** Jess. hey. dean, dis be my fuckin’ girlfriend, jessica. ****

Dean looks at her ass appreciatively.

**Jess  
** Wait, yo’ goddamn brotha dean? ****

Jess smiles. sam nods. dean grins at her ass n’ moves closa.

**Dean  
** Oh, i ludd tha smurfs. yo’ know, i gotta tell yo’. yo’ r’ completely out o’ my fuckin’ brotherz league. ****

**Jess  
** Just let me put somethang on. ****

Jess turns ta git. deanz voice stops her ass.

**Dean  
** No, no, no, i wouldn’t dream o’ dat shit. seriously. ****

Dean goes back ova ta sam without takin’ his muthafuckin’ eyes off jess. sam watches his ass, his muthafuckin’ expression stony.

**Dean  
** Anyway, i gotta borrow yo’ goddamn boyfriend here, rap 'bout some private family businizz. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but, uh, nice meetin’ yo’. ****

**Sam  
** No. ****

Sam goes ova ta jess n’ puts an arm 'round her asshole.

**Sam  
** No, whateva yo’ want ta say, yo’ can say dat shit in front o’ her asshole. ****

**Dean  
** Okay. ****

Dean turns ta look at 'em both straight on.

**Dean  
** Um. dad hasn’t been home in a few days. ****

**Sam  
** So dudez workin’ overtime on a milla time shift. dude’ll stumble back in soona or lata. ****

Dean ducks his muthafuckin’ head n’ looks back the fuck up.

**Dean  
** Dadz on a huntin’ trip. n’ dude hasn’t been home in a few days. ****

Samz expression doesn’t change while dude takes dis in. jess glances the fuck up at his ass.

**Sam  
** Jess, excuse us. we have ta git outside. ****

_Outside apartment  
(int. stairwell – night)_

Sam n’ dean head downstairs. sam has put on jeans n’ a hoodie.

**Sam  
** I mean, come on. yo’ can’t just break in, middle o’ tha night, n’ expect me ta hit tha road wit’ yo’. ****

**Dean  
** Yo’’re not hearin’ me, sammy. dadz missin’. i need yo’ ta help me find his ass. ****

**Sam  
** Yo’ rememba tha poltergeist in amherst? or tha devilz gates in clifton? dude was missin’ then, too. dudez always missing, n’ dudez always fine. ****

Dean stops n’ turns 'round. sam stops too.

**Dean  
** Not fo’ dis long. naw r’ yo’ gonna come wit’ me or not? ****

**Sam  
** I’m not. ****

**Dean  
** Why the fuck not? ****

**Sam  
** I swore i was done huntin’. fo’ wack. ****

**Dean  
** Come on. dat shit wasn’t easy, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dat shit wasn’t dat shizzle. ****

Dean starts downstairs again. sam follows.

**Sam  
** Yeah biatch? When the fuck i told dad i was scared o’ da thang in my fuckin’ closet, dude gave me a. 45. ****

Dean stops at tha door ta tha outside.

**Dean  
** Well shiiit,, What the fuck was dude supposed ta do? ****

**Sam  
** I was nine years old! dude was supposed ta say, don’t be afraid o’ tha dark. ****

**Dean  
** Don’t be afraid o’ da dark? r’ yo’ kiddin’ me? o’ course yo’ should be afraid o’ da dark. yo’ know What the fuckz out there. ****

**Sam  
** Yeah biatch, i know, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but still. da way we grew the fuck up, afta mom was killed, n’ dadz obsession ta find da thang dat killed her asshole. ****

Dean glances outside.

**Sam  
** N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but we still haven’t found da damn thang. so we fuck everythin’ we can find. ****

**Dean  
** We save a lot o’ people doin’ dat shit, too. ****

A pause.

**Sam  
** Yo’ think mom would have wanted dis fo’ us? ****

Dean rolls his muthafuckin’ eyes n’ slams tha door open.

_(ext. parkin’ lot – night)_

Therez a short flight o’ stairs from tha door ta tha parkin’ lot. dean n’ sam climb dat shit.

**Sam  
** Tha weapon training, n’ meltin’ tha silva da fuck into bullets? thug, dean, we were raised like warriors. ****

They cross da parkin’ lot ta da impala from da prologue.

**Dean  
** So What the fuck r’ yo’ gonna do? yo’’re just gonna live some aiiight, apple pie life? be dat dat shit? ****

**Sam  
** No. not aiiight. safe. ****

**Dean  
** N’ datz Why the fuck yo’ ran away. ****

Dean looks away.

**Sam  
** I was just goin’ ta college. dat shit was dad Who the fuck said if i was gonna git i should stay gone. n’ datz What the fuck i’m doin’. ****

**Dean  
** Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, dadz in real trouble right naw. if dudez not dead already. i can feel dat shit. ****

Sam be silent.

**Dean  
** I can’t do dis alone. ****

**Sam  
** Yep yo’ can. ****

Dean looks down.

**Dean  
** Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, i don’t want ta. ****

Sam sighs n’ looks down, thinking, then the fuck up.

**Sam  
** What the fuck was dude hunting? ****

Dean opens tha trunk o’ tha impala, then tha spare-tire compartment. dat shitz an arsenal. dude props da compartment open wit’ a shotgun n’ digs through da clutta.

**Dean  
** All right, letz peep, Where the fuck da hell did i put dat thang? ****

**Sam  
** So When the fuck dad left, Why the fuck didn’t yo’ git wit’ his ass? ****

**Dean  
** I was workin’ my fuckin’ own gig. dis, uh, voodoo thang, down in new orleans. ****

**Sam  
** Dad let yo’ git on a huntin’ trip by yourself? ****

Dean looks ova at sam.

**Dean  
** I’m twenty-six, dude. ****

Dean pulls some papers out o’ a folda.

**Dean  
** All right, here we git. so dad was checkin’ out dis two-lane blacktop just outside o’ jericho, californizzle. 'bout a month ago, dis thug. ****

Dean hands one o’ tha papers ta sam.

**Dean  
** They found his muthafuckin’ car, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but dude vanished. completely mizzle. ****

Tha papa be a printout o’ an article from tha jericho herald, headlined “centennial highway disappearance” n’ dated sept. 19th 2005; dat shit has a thugz picture, captioned “andrew carey missing”. sam reads dat shit n’ glances the fuck up.

**Sam  
** So maybe dude was kidnapped. ****

**Dean  
** Yeah biatch. well shiiit,, herez anotha one in april. ****

Dean tosses down anotha jericho herald article fo’ each date dude mentions.

**Dean  
** Anotha one in decemba 'oh-four, 'oh-three, 'ninety-eight, 'ninety-two, ten o’ 'em ova tha past twenty years. ****

Dean takes tha article back from sam n’ picks the fuck up tha rest o’ tha stack, puttin’ 'em back in tha folda.

**Dean  
** All thugs, all da same five-mile stretch o’ road. ****

Dean pulls a bag out o’ anotha part o’ tha arsenal.

**Dean  
** Dat shit started happenin’ mo’ n’ mo’, so dad went ta git dig 'round. dat was 'bout three weeks ago. i hadn’t heard from his ass since, which be shizzle enough. ****

Dean grabs a handheld tape recorda.

**Dean  
** Then i git dis voicemail yesterday. ****

Dude presses play. tha recordin’ be staticky n’ tha signal was clearly breakin’ the fuck up.

**Jizzy  
** Dean… somethang big be startin’ ta happen… i need ta try n’ figure out What the fuckz goin’ on. dat shit may… be very careful, dean. we’re all in danga. ****

Dean presses stop.

**Sam  
** Yo’ know therez evp on dat? ****

**Dean  
** Not shizzle, sammy. kinda like ridin’ a bike, isn’t dat shit? ****

Sam shakes his muthafuckin’ head.

**Dean  
** All right. i slowed da message down, i ran dat shit through a gold wave, took out da hiss, n’ dis be What the fuck i got. ****

Dude presses play again.

**Whore  
** I can neva git home… ****

Dean presses stop.

**Sam  
** Neva git home. ****

Dean drops da recorder, puts down da shotgun, stands straight, n’ shuts da trunk, then leans on dat shit.

**Dean  
** Yo’ know, in almost two years i’ve neva bothered yo’, neva asked yo’ fo’ a thang. ****

Sam looks away n’ sighs, then looks back.

**Sam  
** All right. i’ll git. i’ll help yo’ find his ass. ****

Dean nods.

**Sam  
** N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but i have ta git back first thang monday. just wait here. ****

Sam turns ta git back ta da apartment. dude turns back When the fuck dean speaks.

**Dean  
** What the fuckz first thang monday? ****

**Sam  
** I have dis… i have an interview. ****

**Dean**  
What the fuck, a job interview? skip dat shit.

**Sam**  
Dat shitz a law oldschool interview, n’ dat shitz my fuckin’ whole future on a plate.

**Dean  
** Law oldschool? ****

Dean smirks.

**Sam  
** So we got a deal or not? ****

Dean says nothang.

_Apartment  
(int. bedroom – night)_

Sam be packin’ a duffel bag. dude pulls out a large hook-shaped knife n’ slides dat shit inside. jess comes da fuck into tha room.

**Jess  
** Wait, yo’’re takin’ off? ****

Sam looks the fuck up.

**Jess  
** Be dis 'bout yo’ goddamn dad? be dude all right? ****

**Sam  
** Yeah biatch. yo’ know, just a lil’ family drama. ****

Sam goes ova ta tha dressa n’ turns on tha lamp atop dat shit.

**Jess**  
Yo’ goddamn brotha said dude was on some kind o’ huntin’ trip.

Jess sits on da bed. sam rummages in one o’ tha drawers n’ comes out wit’ a couple shirts, which git in tha duffel.

**Sam**  
Oh, yeah biatch, dudez just dea huntin’ the fuck up at tha cabin, dudez probably got jim, jack, n’ josé along wit’ his ass. i’m just goin’ ta git brin’ his ass back.

**Jess**  
What the fuck 'bout tha interview?

**Sam**  
I’ll make tha interview. dis be only fo’ a couple days.

Sam goes 'round tha bed. jess gets the fuck up n’ follows.

**Jess  
** Sam, i mean, pwease. ****

Sam stops n’ turns.

**Jess  
** Just stop fo’ a second. yo’ shizzle yo’’re okay? ****

Sam laughs a lil’.

**Sam  
** I’m fine. ****

**Jess  
** Dat shitz just… yo’ won’t even rap 'bout yo’ goddamn family. n’ naw yo’’re takin’ off in tha middle o’ tha night ta spend a weekend wit’ 'em? n’ wit’ monday comin’ the fuck up, which be kind o’ a huge deal. ****

**Sam  
** Hey. everythingz goin’ ta be okay. i gotta be back in time, i promise. ****

Dude kisses her ass on da cheek n’ leaves.

**Jess  
** At least tell me Where the fuck yo’’re goin’. ****

_Centennial highway_  
(ext. centennial highway – night)  
(Jericho, californizzle)

Tha eagles o’ dirtnap metalz “speakin’ in tongues” plays. a young thug, troy, be drivin’ down tha highway, talkin’ on his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

**Troy  
** Amy, i can’t come ova tonight. bcuz’ i’ve got work in tha morning, datz Why the fuck… . yeah biatch, okay, i miss dat shit n’ my fuckin’ dadz gonna have my fuckin’ ass. ****

A high-pitched whine. troy looks ova n’ sees a whore in a white dress on tha side o’ tha road. biatchz movin’ as though dancing; biatch flickers, n’ fo’ a moment biatchz gone.

**Troy  
** Hey, ah, amy, let me call yo’ back? ****

**Music  
** I got dis feelin’ n’ dat shitz deep in my fuckin’ bah-tay **  
**Dat shit gives me wiggles n’ dat shit makes my fuckin’ rump shake **  
**I said ho! ****

Troy tries several times ta turn off da radio, which be flickerin’. nothang happens.

**Music  
** If i should touch yo’ **  
**Might be electrocuted **  
**I said ho! **  
**Deep in yo’ goddamn body ****

Troy pulls the fuck up next ta tha whore, whose dress be torn in several places, n’ stops, leanin’ across tha shotgun seat.

**Troy  
** Ca trouble or somethang? ****

A long pause.

**Whore  
** Take me home? ****

Da voice be da same one from da altered voicemail. troy opens da passenga door.

**Troy  
** Shizzle, git in. ****

Da whore, Who the fuck be barefoot, climbs in n’ closes da door.

**Troy  
** So, Where the fuck do yo’ live? ****

**Whore  
** At tha end o’ breckenridge road. ****

Troy nods.

**Troy  
** Yo’ comin’ from a halloween party or somethang? ****

Tha whorez dress be very low-cut. troy notices, stares, n’ looks away, laughin’ nervously.

**Troy  
** Yo’ know, a biatch like yo’ really shouldn’t be alone out here. ****

Biatch looks at his ass mournfully, seductively, n’ pulls her asshole skirt the fuck up ova her asshole thigh.

**Whore  
** I’m wit’ yo’. ****

Troy looks away. tha whore takes troyz chin n’ turns his muthafuckin’ face towards her asshole.

**Whore  
** Do yo’ think i’m pretty? ****

Troy nods, eyes stuck on her asshole cleavage.

**Troy  
** Uh… huh. ****

**Whore  
** Gotta yo’ come home wit’ me? ****

**Troy  
** Um. hell yeah biatch. ****

Dude drives off.

_(ext. abandoned den – night)_

They pull the fuck up ta an old abandoned den at da end o’ a road. tha whore stares at dat shit sadly.

**Troy  
** Come on. yo’ don’t live here. ****

**Whore  
** I can neva git home. ****

**Troy  
** What the fuck r’ yo’ talkin’ 'bout? nobody even lives here. Where the fuck do yo’ live? ****

Dude turns, n’ biatchz gone. dude checks tha back seat, also empty, n’ gets out o’ tha car, nervous.

**Troy  
** Datz wack. jokez over, okay? yo’ want me ta leave? ****

Troy looks 'round: no signs o’ life except crickets. dude walks towards tha den.

**Troy  
** Yo? yo? ****

Therez a picture o’ tha whore n’ two children inside tha den; tha picture be covered in dust.

Troy peers through tha hole in tha screen door. a bird flies at his muthafuckin’ face, scarin’ his ass da fuck into fallin’ ova. dude yells, leaps ta his muthafuckin’ feet, n’ runs back ta da ca. dude gets in n’ drives off.

_(ext. centennial highway – night)_

Troy looks behind him—no onez there—then in da rearview mirror. tha whore be in tha back seat. troy yells again n’ drives straight through a “bridge closed” sign, stoppin’ 'bout halfway across tha bridge. dude screams. blood spatters tha window. 

 


	3. ACT TWO

_Gas station_   
_(ext. gas station – day)_   
_(Dat shit be 1 nov 2005.)_

Tha impala be parked in front o’ a pump. “ramblin’ thug” by tha allthug brothers plays.

 **Music**  
Lord, i was born a ramblin’ thug

Dean comes out o’ da convenience mart carryin’ junk food.

 **Music**  
Tryin’ ta make a livin’ n’ doin’ tha best i can

Sam be sittin’ in tha shotgun seat wit’ tha door open, riflin’ through a box o’ tapes.

 **Dean**  
Hey!

Sam leans out n’ looks at his ass.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ want breakfast?

 **Sam**  
No, thanks.

 **Music**  
N’ When the fuck dat shitz time fo’ leavin’

 **Sam**  
So how tha fuck’d yo’ pay fo’ dat shit?

 **Music**  
I hope yo’’ll understand

 **Sam**  
Yo’ n’ dad still runnin’ credit card scams?

 **Music**  
Dat i was born a ramblin’ thug

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, huntin’ ain’t exactly a pro ball carea.

Dean puts tha nozzle back on tha pump.

 **Dean**  
Besides, all we do be apply. dat shitz not our fault they send us tha cards.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch? n’ What the fuck names did yo’ write on da application dis time?

Sam swings his muthafuckin’ legs back inside da ca n’ closes da door.

 **Dean**  
Uh, burt aframian.

Dean gets da fuck into tha driva seat n’ puts his muthafuckin’ soda n’ chips down.

 **Dean**  
N’ his muthafuckin’ son hector. scored two cards out o’ tha deal.

Dean closes tha door.

 **Sam**  
Dat sounds ‘bout right. i swear, thug, yo’’ve gotta update yo’ goddamn cassette tape collection.

There r’ at least a dozen cassettes in da box on samz lap; some have album art, others r’ hand-labeled.

 **Dean**  
Why the fuck?

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, fo’ one, they’re cassette tapes. n’ two.

Sam holds the fuck up a tape fo’ every band dude names.

 **Sam**  
Black sabbath? motorhead? metallica?

Dean takes tha box labeled metallica from sam.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz da greatest hits o’ mullet rock.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, den rules, sammy.

Dean pops da tape in da playa.

 **Dean**  
Driva picks da music, shotgun shuts his muthafuckin’ cakehole.

Dean drops tha metallica box back in tha box o’ tapes n’ starts tha engine.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ know, sammy be a chubby twelve-year-old.

Ac/dcz “back in black” begins ta play.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz sam, okay?

 **Dean**  
Sorry, i can’t hea yo’, da musicz too loud.

Dean drives off.

 _Centennial highway_   
_(ext. centennial highway – day)_

 **Music**  
Back in black  
I hit da sack  
I’ve been too long  
I’m glad ta be back  
Yep i’m let loose

They drive past a sign dat says “jericho 7”.

 **Music**  
From da noose  
Datz kept me hangin’ 'bout

Sam be talkin’ on his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

 **Sam**  
Thank yo’.

Sam closes his muthafuckin’ phone.

 **Music**  
Lookin’ at da sky  
'cause dat shitz gettin’ me high

 **Sam**  
All right. so, therez no one matchin’ dad at da hospital or morgue.

 **Music**  
Forget tha hearse 'cause i’ll neva die

 **Sam**  
So datz somethang, i guess.

Dean glances ova at sam, then back at da road. at a bridge ahead o’ 'em, there r’ two police cars n’ several officers.

 **Music**  
I got nine lives  
Pussaaaaaayz eyes  
Abusin’ every one o’ 'em n’ runnin’ wild

 **Dean**  
Check dat shit out.

Sam leans forward fo’ a closa look.

 **Music**  
'cause i’m back  
Yep i’m back

Dean pulls ova. they take a long look before dean turns off da engine. kid gloves musicz “my cheatin’ ways” begins ta play. dean opens tha glove compartment n’ pulls out a box full o’ id cards wit’ his muthafuckin’ n’ jizzyz faces: visible ones include fbi n’ dea. dude picks one out n’ grins at sam, Who the fuck stares.

 **Dean**  
Letz git.

Dean gets out o’ da ca.

On da bridge, da lead deputy, deputy jaffe, leans ova da railin’ ta yell down ta two thugs in wetsuits Who the fuck were pokin’ 'round da riva.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ guys find anything?

 **Thug**  
No! nothang!

Jaffe turns back ta tha ca in tha middle o’ tha bridge. dat shitz familiar: dat shitz troy’s, tha blood gone. anotha deputy, deputy hein, be at da driverz side lookin’ 'round inside da ca.

 **Hein**  
No sign o’ struggle, no footprints, no fingerprints. spotless. dat shitz almost too clean.

Dean n’ sam walk da fuck into da crime scene like they belong there.

 **Jaffe**  
So, dis kid troy. dudez datin’ yo’ goddamn daughter, isn’t dude?

 **Hein**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Jaffe**  
How tha fuckz amy doing?

 **Hein**  
Biatchz puttin’ the fuck up missin’ posters downtown.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ fellas had anotha one like dis just last month, didn’t yo’?

Jaffe looks the fuck up When the fuck dean starts talkin’ n’ straightens the fuck up ta rap ta his ass.

 **Jaffe**  
N’ Who the fuck r’ yo’?

Dean flashes his muthafuckin’ badge.

 **Dean**  
Federal marshals.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ two r’ a lil’ young fo’ marshals, aren’t yo’?

Dean laughs.

 **Dean**  
Thanks, datz awfully kind o’ yo’.

Dean goes ova ta da ca.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ did have anotha one just like dis, correct?

 **Jaffe**  
Yeah biatch, datz right. 'bout a mile the fuck up da road. there’ve been others before dat.

 **Sam**  
So, dis victim, yo’ knew his ass?

Jaffe nods.

 **Jaffe**  
Town like dis, everybody knows everybody.

Dean circles tha car, lookin’ 'round.

 **Dean**  
Any connection between tha victims, besides dat they’re all thugs?

 **Jaffe**  
No. not so fa as we can tell.

 **Sam**  
So What the fuckz tha theory?

Sam goes ova ta dean.

 **Jaffe**  
Honestly, we don’t know. serial murder? kidnappin’ ring?

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dat be exactly tha kind o’ crack police work i’d expect out o’ yo’ guys.

Sam stomps on deanz foot.

 **Sam**  
Thank yo’ fo’ yo’ goddamn time.

Sam starts ta walk away. dean follows.

 **Sam**  
Gentlethugs.

Jaffe watches 'em git. dean smacks sam on da head.

 **Sam**  
Ow! What the fuck was dat fo’?

 **Dean**  
Why the fuck’d yo’ have ta step on my fuckin’ foot?

 **Sam**  
Why the fuck do yo’ have ta rap ta da police like dat?

Dean looks at sam n’ moves in front o’ his ass, forcin’ sam ta stop walkin’.

 **Dean**  
Come on. they don’t really know What the fuckz goin’ on. we’re all alone on dis. i mean, if we’re goin’ ta find dad we’ve got ta git ta da bottom o’ dis thang ourselves.

Sam clears his muthafuckin’ throat n’ looks ova deanz shoulda. dean turns. dat shitz sheriff pierce n’ two fbi agents.

 **Sheriff**  
Can i help yo’ boys?

 **Dean**  
No, sir, we were just leavin’.

As tha fbi agents walk past dean, dude nods at each o’ 'em.

 **Dean**  
Agent mulda. agent scully.

Dean n’ sam head past da sheriff, Who the fuck turns ta watch 'em git.

 _Jericho_   
_(ext. street – day)_

Da marquee on da highland movie theata reads: Emergency town hall meetin’. Sunday 8 pm. Be safe out there.

A young whore be tackin’ the fuck up posters wit’ troyz face n’ da caption “missin’ troy squire”. dean n’ sam approach.

 **Dean**  
I’ll bet yo’ datz her asshole.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

Dean n’ sam walk the fuck up ta da young whore.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ must be amy.

 **Amy**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, troy told us 'bout yo’. we’re his muthafuckin’ uncles. i’m dean, dis be sammy.

 **Amy**  
Dude neva mentioned yo’ ta me.

Amy walks away. dean n’ sam walk wit’ her asshole.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz troy, i guess. we’re not 'round much, we’re the fuck up in modesto.

 **Sam**  
So, we’re lookin’ fo’ his ass too, n’ we’re kinda askin’ 'round.

Anotha young whore, rachel, comes the fuck up ta amy n’ puts a hand on her asshole arm.

 **Rachel**  
Hey, r’ yo’ okay?

 **Amy**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ mind if we ask yo’ a couple questions?

Anotha posta dat says missin’ troy squire flaps in da breeze.

 _(Int._ dina _– day)_

Da four o’ 'em r’ sittin’ in a booth, dean n’ sam opposite amy n’ rachel.

 **Amy**  
I was on da phone wit’ troy. dude was drivin’ home. dude said dude would call me right back, n’… dude neva did.

 **Sam**  
Dude didn’t say anythin’ strange, or out o’ da ordinary?

Amy shakes her asshole head.

 **Amy**  
No. nothang i can rememba.

 **Sam**  
I like yo’ goddamn necklace.

Amy holds da pendant biatchz wearing, a pentagram in a circle, n’ looks down at dat shit.

 **Amy**  
Troy gave dat shit ta me. mostly ta scare my fuckin’ parents—

Amy laughs.

 **Amy**  
—with all dat devil shit.

Sam laughs a lil’ n’ looks down, then the fuck up. dean looks ova.

 **Sam**  
Actually, dat shit means just da opposite. a pentagram be protection against evil. really powerful. i mean, if yo’ believe in dat kind o’ thang.

 **Dean**  
Okay. thank yo’, unsolved mysteries.

Dean takes his muthafuckin’ arm off da back o’ samz seat n’ leans forward.

 **Dean**  
Herez tha deal, ladies. da way troy disappeared, somethangz not right. so if yo’’ve heard anythin’…

Amy n’ rachel look at each otha.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck be dat shit?

 **Rachel**  
Well shiiit,, dat shitz just… i mean, wit’ all dem guys goin’ missing, people rap.

Dean n’ sam speak in chorus.

 **Dean n’ sam**  
What the fuck do they rap 'bout?

 **Rachel**  
Dat shitz kind o’ dis local legend. dis one biatch? biatch got murdered out on centennial, like decades ago.

Dean looks at sam, Who the fuck watches rachel attentively, noddin’.

 **Rachel**  
Well shiiit,, supposedly biatchz still out there.

Sam nods.

 **Rachel**  
Biatch hitchhikes, n’ whoeva picks her asshole the fuck up? well shiiit,, they disappea foreva.

Sam n’ dean look at each otha.

 _Library_   
_(int. library – day)_

A web browsa be open ta da archive search page fo’ da jericho herald. da words “female murda hitchhiking” r’ typed da fuck into da search box. dean clicks git; da screen tells his ass there r’ “(0) result”. dean replaces “hitchhiking” wit’ “centennial highway” wit’ tha same response. sam be sittin’ next ta his ass, watchin’.

 **Sam**  
Let me try.

Dean smacks samz hand.

 **Dean**  
I got dat shit.

Sam shoves deanz chair out o’ tha way n’ takes ova.

 **Dean**  
Dude!

Dean hits sam in da shoulda.

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re such a control freak.

 **Sam**  
So angry spirits r’ born out o’ violent dirtnap, right?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, maybe dat shitz not murda.

Sam replaces “murder” wit’ “suicide” n’ finds an article entitled “suicide on centennial”. dean glances at sam. sam opens da article, dated april 25, 1981.

A local whorez drownin’ dirtnap was ruled a suicide, da county sheriffz department said earlia today. constance welch, 24, o’ 4636 breckenridge road, leapt off sylvanizzle bridge, at mile 33 o’ centennial highway, n’ subsequently drowned last night.

Deputy j. pierce told reporters dat, hours before her asshole dirtnap, ms. welch logged a call wit’ 911 emergency services. in a panicked tone, ms. welch described how tha fuck biatch found her asshole two young children, 5 n’ 6, in tha bathtub, afta leavin’ 'em alone fo’ several [minutes]. biatch reported dat their muthafuckin’ complex-[… ]

What the fuck happened ta my fuckin’ children was a terrible accident. n’ dat shit must have been too much fo’ my fuckin’ wife. our babies were gone, n’ constance just couldn’t bea dat shit,“ said husband joseph welch. "now i ask dat yo’ all pwease respect my fuckin’ privacy durin’ dis tryin’ time. ”

At tha time o’ tha childrenz dirtnap n’ ms. welchz subsequent suicide, mr. welch was at tha frontia auto salvage yard, Where the fuck dude works tha graveyard shift as associate managa.

“connie might have been quiet, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but biatch was tha sweetest, most carin’ biatch i eva knew,” said deanna kripke, a neighbor. “she just doted on dem children. ”

 **Sam**  
Dis was 1981. constance welch, twenty-four years old, jumps off sylvanizzle bridge, drowns in tha riva.

Therez a picture o’ constance; dat shitz da whore Who the fuck killed troy.

 **Dean**  
Does dat shit say Why the fuck biatch did dat shit?

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
An hour before they found her asshole, biatch calls 911. apparently her asshole two lil’ kids r’ in da bathtub. biatch leaves 'em alone fo’ a minute, n’ When the fuck biatch comes back, they aren’t breathin’. both die.

Dean raises his muthafuckin’ eyebrows.

 **Dean**  
Hm.

Da article has a picture o’ joseph next ta a picture o’ sylvanizzle bridge; dat shitz da place troy died.

 **Sam**  
“'our babies were gone, n’ constance just couldn’t bea dat shit,’ said husband joseph welch. ”

 **Dean**  
Tha bridge look familia ta yo’?

 _Sylvanizzle bridge  
_ _(ext._ sylvanizzle _bridge – night)_

Dean n’ sam walk along tha bridge, then stop ta lean on tha railin’ n’ look down at tha riva.

 **Dean**  
So dis be Where the fuck constance took tha swan dive.

 **Sam**  
So yo’ think dad would have been here?

Sam looks ova at dean.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dudez chasin’ tha same story n’ we’re chasin’ his ass.

Dean continues walkin’. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
Okay, so naw What the fuck?

 **Dean**  
Naw we keep diggin’ until we find his ass. might take a while.

Sam stops.

 **Sam**  
Dean, i told yo’, i’ve gotta git back by monday—

Dean turns 'round.

 **Dean**  
Monday. right. tha interview.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, i forgot. yo’’re really straight 'bout dis, aren’t yo’? yo’ think yo’’re just goin’ ta become some lawyer? marry yo’ goddamn biatch?

 **Sam**  
Maybe. Why the fuck not?

 **Dean**  
Does jessica know da truth 'bout yo’? i mean, does biatch know 'bout da things yo’’ve done?

Sam steps closa.

 **Sam**  
No, n’ biatchz not eva goin’ ta know.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz healthy. yo’ can pretend all yo’ want, sammy. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but soona or lata yo’’re goin’ ta have ta face the fuck up ta Who the fuck yo’ really r’.

Dean turns 'round n’ keeps walkin’. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
N’ Who the fuckz dat?

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re one o’ us.

Sam hurries ta git in front o’ dean.

 **Sam**  
No. i’m not like yo’. dis be not goin’ ta be my fuckin’ life.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ have a responsibility to—

 **Sam**  
Ta dad? n’ his muthafuckin’ crusade? if dat shit weren’t fo’ pictures i wouldn’t even know What the fuck mom looks like. n’ What the fuck difference would dat shit make? even if we do find da thang dat killed her asshole, momz gone. n’ biatch isn’t comin’ back.

Dean grabs sam by tha colla n’ shoves his ass the fuck up against tha railin’ o’ tha bridge. a long pause.

 **Dean**  
Don’t rap 'bout her ass like dat.

Dean releases sam n’ walks away. dude sees constance standin’ at tha edge o’ tha bridge.

 **Dean**  
Sam.

Sam comes ta stand next ta dean. constance looks ova at 'em, then steps forward off tha edge. sam n’ dean run ta da railin’ n’ look ova.

 **Dean**  
Where the fuck’d biatch git?

 **Sam**  
I don’t know.

Behind 'em, tha impalaz engine starts n’ itz headlights come on. dean n’ sam turn ta look.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck the—

 **Sam**  
Who the fuckz drivin’ yo’ goddamn car?

Dean pulls tha keys out o’ his muthafuckin’ pocket n’ jingles 'em. sam glances at 'em. da ca jerks da fuck into motion, headin’ straight fo’ 'em. they turn n’ run.

 **Sam**  
Dean? git! git!

Tha ca be movin’ fasta than they r’; When the fuck dat shit gets too close, sam n’ dean dive ova tha railin’. da ca comes ta a halt.


	4. ACT THREE

_Sylvanizzle bridge_   
_(ext. sylvanizzle bridge – night)_   
_Establishin’ shot o’ da bridge._

Sam has caught his dirty ass on tha edge o’ tha bridge n’ be hangin’ on. dude pulls his dirty ass the fuck up onto da bridge n’ looks ‘round.

 **Sam**  
Dean? dean!

Below, a filthy n’ annoyed dean crawls out o’ da wata n’ onto da mud, pantin’.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
Hey! r’ yo’ all right?

Dean holds the fuck up one hand in an a-ok sign.

 **Dean**  
I’m snoop.

Sam laughs, relieved, n’ scoots away from tha edge.

 _(ext. sylvanizzle bridge – night,_ lata _)_

Dean shuts da hood o’ his muthafuckin’ ca n’ leans on dat shit.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ goddamn ca all right?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, whateva biatch did ta dat shit, seems all right naw. dat constance chick, What the fuck a biatch!

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, biatch doesn’t want us diggin’ 'round, datz fo’ shizzle. so Where the fuckz tha job git from here, genius?

Sam settles on tha hood next ta dean. dean throws the fuck up his muthafuckin’ arms in frustration, then flicks mud off his muthafuckin’ hands. sam sniffs, then looks at dean.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ smell like a toilet.

Dean looks down.

 _Motel_   
_(int. motel lobby – day)_   
_(Dat shit be 2 nov 2005.)_

A versabank mastercard in da name o’ hector aframian lands on a handwritten guest ledga.

 **Dean**  
One room, pwease.

Dean be standin’ at tha motel check-in desk, still filthy, wit’ sam right behind his ass. da clerk picks the fuck up da card n’ looks at dat shit.

 **Clerk**  
Yo’ guys havin’ a reunion or somethang?

 **Sam**  
What the fuck do yo’ mean?

 **Clerk**  
I had anotha thug, burt aframian. dude came n’ bought out a room fo’ tha whole month.

Dean looks back at sam.

 _Jizzyz room_   
_(int. motel room – day)_

Tha motel door swings open. sam be on tha otha side, havin’ just picked tha lock. sam hides da picks n’ stands the fuck up. dean be just outside, playin’ lookout, until sam reaches out o’ tha room ta grab his muthafuckin’ shoulda n’ yank his ass inside. sam closes da door behind 'em. they look around—every vertical surface has papers pinned ta dat shit: maps, newspapa clippings, pictures, notes. there r’ books on da desk n’ assorted junk on da floor n’ bed, includin’ somethang wit’ a hazardous-materials symbol.

 **Sam**  
Whoa.

Dean turns on a light by tha bed n’ picks the fuck up a half-eaten hamburga sittin’ there. sam steps ova a line o’ salt on da floor. dean sniffs da burga n’ recoils.

 **Dean**  
I don’t think dudez been here fo’ a couple days at least.

Sam fingers tha salt on tha floor n’ looks the fuck up.

 **Sam**  
Salt, cats-eye shells… dude was worried. tryin’ ta keep somethang from comin’ in.

Dean looks at tha papers coverin’ one wall.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck have yo’ got here?

 **Dean**  
Centennial highway victims.

Sam nods. da victims peep on da wall include mark somebody, william durrell, scott nifong Who the fuck disappeared in 1987 at age 25, n’ somebody parks. mark, durrell, n’ nifong r’ all white males, judgin’ by tha photos.

 **Dean**  
I don’t git dat shit. i mean, different thugs, different jobs—

Sam crosses tha room.

 **Dean**  
—ages, ethnicities. therez always a connection, right? What the fuck do dem guys have in common?

While dean talks, sam looks at da papers taped ta da otha walls. therez somethang 'bout tha bell witch, two people bein’ burned alive, a skeletal person blowin’ a horn at several scared people wit’ tha note “mortis danse”, a column 'bout “devils + demons”, anotha 'bout “sirens, witches, tha possessed”, a wooden pentacle, n’ a note dat says “wothug in white” above a printout o’ tha jericho herald article on constancez suicide.

Sam turns on anotha lamp.

 **Sam**  
Dad figured dat shit out.

Dean turns ta look.

 **Dean**  
What the fuck do yo’ mean?

 **Sam**  
Dude found tha same article we did. constance welch. biatchz a whore in white.

Dean looks at tha photos o’ constancez victims.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ sly dogs.

Dean turns back ta sam.

 **Dean**  
All right, so if we’re dealin’ wit’ a whore in white, dad would have found tha corpse n’ destroyed dat shit.

 **Sam**  
Biatch might have anotha weaknizz.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, dad would want ta make shizzle.

Dean crosses ta sam.

 **Dean**  
Dude’d dig her ass the fuck up. does dat shit say Where the fuck biatchz buried?

 **Sam**  
No, not dat i can tell. if i were dad, though, i’d git ask her asshole husband.

Sam taps tha picture o’ joseph welch. da caption says dudez thirty; da article dates ta 1981, so dude must be sixty-four.

 **Sam**  
If dudez still alive.

Sam goes ta look at somethang else. dean looks at tha picture below tha herald article, o’ a whore in a white dress.

 **Dean**  
All right. Why the fuck don’t yo’, uh, peep if yo’ can find an address, i’m gonna git cleaned the fuck up.

Dean starts ta walk away. sam turns.

 **Sam**  
Hey, dean?

Dean stops n’ turns back.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck i said earlier, 'bout mom n’ dad, i’m sorry.

Dean holds the fuck up a hand.

 **Dean**  
No chick-flick moments.

Sam laughs n’ nods.

 **Sam**  
All right. jerk.

 **Dean**  
Biatch.

Sam laughs again. dean disappears, presumably da fuck into tha bathroom. sam notices somethang, his muthafuckin’ smile disappearing, n’ crosses ova fo’ a closa look. a rosary hangs in front o’ a large mirror, n’ stuck da fuck into tha mirror frame be a photo o’ jizzy sittin’ on tha hood o’ tha impala, next ta a pimp in a baseball cap Who the fuck be presumably dean n’ wit’ a younga pimp, presumably sam, on jizzyz lap. sam takes tha photo off tha mirror n’ holds dat shit, smilin’ sadly.

 _Motel_  
 _(int. motel room – day,_ lata _)_

Sam paces, holdin’ his muthafuckin’ phone, n’ sits down on da bed. a voicemail message be playin’.

 **Jess**  
Hey, dat shitz me, dat shitz 'bout ten-twenty saturday night—

Dean, clean again, comes out o’ da bathroom n’ grabs his muthafuckin’ jacket. dude shrugs dat shit on one shoulda as dude crosses tha room.

 **Dean**  
Hey, thug. i’m starving, i’m gonna grab a lil’ somethang ta smoke in dat dina down da street. yo’ want anything?

 **Sam**  
No.

 **Dean**  
Aframianz buyin’.

Sam shakes his muthafuckin’ head.

 **Sam**  
Mm-mm.

 _(ext._ parkin’ _lot – day)_

Dean leaves da motel room. dude gets da jacket da rest o’ da way on as dude crosses da lot. dude looks ova n’ sees a police car, Where the fuck tha motel clerk be talkin’ ta deputy jaffe n’ deputy hein. da clerk points at dean, Who the fuck turns away n’ pulls out his muthafuckin’ cell phone.

 _(int. motel room – day n’ ext._ parkin’ _lot – day, alternatin’)_

Sam be sittin’ on da bed, still listenin’ ta da message.

 **Jess**  
So come home soon, okay? i ludd yo’.

Tha phone beeps. sam looks at dat shit n’ presses a button, then puts dat shit back ta his muthafuckin’ ea.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck?

Outside, tha deputies r’ approachin’ dean.

 **Dean**  
Dude, five-oh, take off.

Sam stands the fuck up.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck 'bout yo’?

 **Dean**  
Uh, they kinda spotted me. git find dad.

Dean hangs the fuck up tha phone as tha deputies approach. dude turns n’ grins at 'em.

 **Dean**  
Problem, officers?

 **Jaffe**  
Where the fuckz yo’ goddamn partner?

 **Dean**  
Partner? What the fuck, What the fuck partner?

Jaffe glances ova his muthafuckin’ shoulda n’ jerks his muthafuckin’ thumb towards tha motel room. hein heads ova there. dean fidgets.

Sam sees hein approachin’ n’ darts away from tha window.

 **Jaffe**  
So. fake us marshal. fake credit cards. yo’ got anythin’ datz real?

 **Dean**  
My fuckin’ boobs.

Dean grins.

Hein slams dean ova da hood o’ da cop ca.

 **Jaffe**  
Yo’ have da right ta remain silen—


	5. ACT FOUR

_Sheriffz office_   
_(int. sheriffz office – day)_

Sheriff pierce enters tha room, carryin’ a box. dude sets tha box on tha table at which dean sits n’ goes ‘round tha table ta face dean across dat shit.

 **Sheriff**  
So yo’ want ta give us yo’ goddamn real name?

 **Dean**  
I told yo’, dat shitz nugent. ted nugent.

 **Sheriff**  
I’m not shizzle yo’ realize just how tha fuck much trouble yo’’re in here.

 **Dean**  
We talkin’, like, misdemeanor kind o’ trouble or, uh, squeal like a fatass trouble?

 **Sheriff**  
Yo’ got da faces o’ ten missin’ persons taped ta yo’ goddamn wall.

Dean looks away.

 **Sheriff**  
Along wit’ a whole lot o’ satanic mumbo-jumbo. pimp, yo’ r’ officially a suspect.

 **Dean**  
Dat makes sense. bcuz’ When the fuck tha first one went missin’ in '82 i was three.

 **Sheriff**  
I know yo’’ve got partners. one o’ 'emz an olda thug. maybe dude started tha whole thang. so tell me. dean.

Tha sheriff tosses a brown leather-covered journal on tha table.

 **Sheriff**  
Dis his muthafuckin’?

Dean stares at dat shit. tha sheriff sits on tha edge o’ tha table. dude flips through da journal: dat shitz filled wit’ newspapa clippings, notes, n’ pictures, just like What the fuckz on da walls o’ jizzyz motel room.

 **Sheriff**  
I thought dat might be yo’ goddamn name. peep, i leafed through dis. What the fuck lil’ i could make out—i mean, dat shitz nine kinds o’ wild.

Dean leans forward fo’ a closa look.

 **Sheriff**  
N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but i found dis, too.

Dude opens da journal ta a page dat reads “dean 35-111”, circled, wit’ nothang else on dat page.

 **Sheriff**  
Naw. yo’’re stayin’ right here till yo’ tell me exactly What the fuck da hell dat means.

Dean stares down at da page, then looks the fuck up.

_(int. den – day)_

Sam, peep through da chain-link coverin’ a grimy glass window, knocks on da door da window be in. an old thug opens dat shit: dat shitz recognizably joseph welch.

 **Sam**  
Wassup. r’ yo’ joseph welch?

 **Joseph**  
Yeah biatch.

_(ext. driveway – day)_

Sam n’ joseph r’ walkin’ down da junk-filled driveway, joseph holdin’ da photo sam found on jizzyz motel room mirror.

 **Joseph**  
Yeah biatch, dude was older, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but datz his ass.

Joseph hands tha photo back ta sam.

 **Joseph**  
Dude came by three or four days ago. said dude was a reporta.

 **Sam**  
Datz right. we’re workin’ on a story togetha.

 **Joseph**  
Well shiiit,, i don’t know What the fuck tha hell kinda story yo’’re workin’ on. da questions dude asked me?

 **Sam**  
'bout yo’ goddamn wife constance?

 **Joseph**  
Dude asked me Where the fuck biatch was buried.

 **Sam**  
N’ Where the fuck be dat again?

 **Joseph**  
What the fuck, i gotta git through dis twice?

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz fact-checkin’. if yo’ don’t mind.

 **Joseph**  
In a plot. behind my fuckin’ old place ova on breckenridge.

 **Sam**  
N’ Why the fuck did yo’ move?

 **Joseph**  
I’m not gonna live in da den Where the fuck my fuckin’ children died.

Sam stops walkin’. joseph stops too.

 **Sam**  
Mr. welch, did yo’ eva marry again?

 **Joseph**  
No way. constance, biatch was tha ludd o’ my fuckin’ life. prettiest whore i eva known.

 **Sam**  
So yo’ had a happy marriage?

Joseph hesitates.

 **Joseph**  
Definitely.

 **Sam**  
Well shiiit,, dat should do dat shit. thanks fo’ yo’ goddamn time.

Sam turns toward da impala. joseph walks away. sam waits a moment, then looks back the fuck up at joseph.

 **Sam**  
Mr. welch, did yo’ eva hea o’ a whore in white?

Joseph turns 'round.

 **Joseph**  
A What the fuck?

 **Sam**  
A whore in white. or sometimes weepin’ whore?

Joseph just looks.

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz a ghost story. well shiiit,, dat shitz mo’ o’ a phenomenon, really.

Sam starts back toward joseph.

 **Sam**  
Um, they’re spirits. they’ve been sighted fo’ hundreds o’ years, dozens o’ places, in hawaii, mexico, lately in arizona, indiana. all dem r’ different biatches.

Sam stops in front o’ joseph.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ understand. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but all share tha same story.

 **Joseph**  
Pimp, i don’t care much fo’ fucked up.

Joseph walks away. sam follows.

 **Sam**  
Peep, When the fuck they were alive, their muthafuckin’ husbands were unfaithful ta 'em.

Joseph stops.

 **Sam**  
N’ dem biatches, basically sufferin’ from temporary insanity, murdered their muthafuckin’ children.

Joseph turns 'round.

 **Sam**  
Then once they realized What the fuck they had done, they took their muthafuckin’ own lives. so naw their muthafuckin’ spirits r’ cursed, walkin’ back roads, waterways. n’ if they find an unfaithful thug, they fuck his ass. n’ dat thug be neva peep again.

 **Joseph**  
Yo’ think… yo’ think dat has somethang ta do wit’… constance? yo’ smartass!

 **Sam**  
Yo’ tell me.

 **Joseph**  
I mean, maybe… maybe i made some mistakes. N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but no matta What the fuck i did, constance, biatch neva would have killed her asshole own children. naw, yo’ git da hell out o’ here! n’ yo’ don’t come back!

Josephz face shakes, whetha from anga or grief dat shitz impossible ta tell. afta a long moment, dude turns away. sam sighs.

Sheriffz _office_  
 _(int._ sheriffz _office – night)_

 **Dean**  
I don’t know how tha fuck shitload o’ times i gotta tell yo’. dat shitz my fuckin’ high oldschool locka combo.

Sheriff pierce be still interrogatin’ dean ova da “dean 35-111” page.

 **Sheriff**  
We gonna do dis all night long?

A deputy leans da fuck into tha room.

 **Deputy**  
We just got a 911, shots fired ova at whiteford road.

 **Sheriff**  
Yo’ have ta git ta tha bathroom?

 **Dean**  
No.

 **Sheriff**  
Wack.

Tha sheriff handcuffs dean ta tha table n’ leaves. dean sees a papa clip pokin’ out o’ da journal, pulls dat shit out, n’ looks at dat shit. moments later, as tha sheriff n’ deputy r’ gearin’ the fuck up ta leave, dude be out o’ tha cuffs. dean watches through tha window in tha door, ducks out o’ sight as tha deputy approaches tha door, n’ waits.

 _(ext._ sheriffz _office – night)_

Dean climbs down tha fire escape, carryin’ jizzyz journal.

_Highway_   
_(ext. highway – night n’ ext. street – night, alternatin’)_

Sam be drivin’ tha impala When the fuck his muthafuckin’ phone rings. dude pulls dat shit out n’ answers dat shit. dean be in a phone booth; apparently his muthafuckin’ phone was confiscated n’ dude didn’t take da time ta steal dat shit back.

 **Dean**  
Fake 911 phone call? sammy, i don’t know, datz pretty illegal.

 **Sam**  
Yo’’re welcome.

Sam grins.

 **Dean**  
Listen, we gotta rap.

 **Sam**  
Tell me 'bout dat shit. so tha husband was unfaithful. we r’ dealin’ wit’ a whore in white. n’ biatchz buried behind her asshole old den, so dat should have been dadz next stop.

 **Dean**  
Sammy, would yo’ shut the fuck up fo’ a second?

 **Sam**  
I just can’t figure out Why the fuck dad hasn’t destroyed da corpse yet.

 **Dean**  
Well shiiit,, datz What the fuck i’m tryin’ ta tell yo’. dudez gone. dad left jericho.

 **Sam**  
What the fuck? how tha fuck do yo’ know?

 **Dean**  
I’ve got his muthafuckin’ journal.

 **Sam**  
Dude doesn’t git anywhere without dat thang.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, well shiiit,, dude did dis time.

 **Sam**  
What the fuckz dat shit say?

 **Dean**  
Ah, tha same old ex-marine crap, When the fuck dude wants ta let us know Where the fuck dudez goin’.

 **Sam**  
Coordinates. Where the fuck ta?

 **Dean**  
I’m not shizzle yet.

 **Sam**  
I don’t understand. i mean, What the fuck could be so important dat dad would just skip out in tha middle o’ a job? dean, What the fuck tha hell be goin’ on?

Sam looks the fuck up n’ slams tha brake, droppin’ tha phone: constance appeared on tha road in front o’ his ass. tha ca goes right through her asshole as sam brings dat shit ta a halt.

 **Dean**  
Sam? sam!

Inside tha car, sam breathes hard. constance be sittin’ in tha back seat.

 **Constance**  
Take me home.


	6. ACT FIVE

_Highway_   
_(ext. highway – night)_

 **Constance**  
Take me home!

 **Sam**  
No.

Constance glares n’ da doors lock themselves. sam struggles ta reopen ‘em. tha gas pedal presses down n’ tha ca begins ta drive itself. sam tries ta steer, N’ therez Ain’t nuthin’ but constance be doin’ dat too. sam continues ta try ta git tha door open. in da back seat, constance flickers.

 _Breckenridge road_   
_(ext. abandoned den – night)_

Tha ca pulls the fuck up in front o’ constancez den n’ stops. da engine shuts off n’ so do da lights.

 **Sam**  
Don’t do dis.

Constance flickers. her asshole voice be fucked up.

 **Constance**  
I can neva git home.

 **Sam**  
Yo’’re scared ta git home.

Sam looks back n’ constance isn’t there. dude glances 'round n’ back n’ sees her asshole in tha shotgun seat. biatch climbs da fuck into his muthafuckin’ lap, shovin’ his ass back against tha seat hard enough ta recline tha seat. sam struggles.

 **Constance**  
Hold me. i’m so cold.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ can’t fuck me. i’m not unfaithful. i’ve neva been!

 **Constance**  
Yo’ gotta be. just hold me.

Constance kisses sam as dude continues ta struggle, reachin’ fo’ tha keys. biatch pulls back n’ disappears, a flash o’ somethang horrible behind her asshole face as biatch vanishes. sam looks 'round fo’ a moment, then yells in pain n’ yanks his muthafuckin’ hoodie open. there r’ five new holes burned through da fabric, matchin’ ta constancez fingers: biatch flickers in front o’ his ass, her asshole hand reachin’ da fuck into his muthafuckin’ chest. a gunshot goes off, shatterin’ da window n’ startlin’ constance. dean approaches, still firin’ at her asshole. biatch glares at his ass n’ vanishes, then reappears, n’ dean keeps firin’ until biatch disappears again. sam manages ta sit the fuck up n’ start da ca.

 **Sam**  
I’m takin’ yo’ home.

Sam drives forward. dean stares afta da ca. sam smashes through tha side o’ tha den. dean hurries through tha wreckage ta tha passenga side o’ tha ca.

 **Dean**  
Sam! sam! yo’ okay?

 **Sam**  
I think…

 **Dean**  
Can yo’ move?

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch. help me?

Dean leans through da window ta give sam a hand.

Constance picks the fuck up a large framed photograph peep When the fuck biatch brought troy here: tha whore be constance n’ tha children r’ presumably hers.

Dean helps sam out o’ tha ca.

 **Dean**  
There yo’ git.

Dean closes tha ca door. they look 'round n’ peep constance; biatch looks the fuck up. biatch glares at 'em n’ throws tha picture down. a bureau scoots towards sam n’ dean, pinnin’ 'em against tha ca. da lights flicker; constance looks 'round, scared. wata begins ta pour down tha staircase. biatch goes ova. at da top r’ da pimp n’ biatch from da photograph. they hold hands n’ speak in chorus.

 **Children**  
Yo’’ve come home ta us, mommy.

Constance looks at 'em, distraught. suddenly they r’ behind her asshole; they embrace her asshole tightly n’ biatch screams, her asshole image flickerin’. in a surge o’ energy, still screaming, constance n’ da two children melt da fuck into a puddle in da floor. sam n’ dean shove da bureau ova n’ git look at da spot Where the fuck constance n’ her asshole children vanished.

 **Dean**  
So dis be Where the fuck biatch drowned her asshole kids.

Sam nods.

 **Sam**  
Datz Why the fuck biatch could neva git home. biatch was too scared ta face 'em.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ found her asshole weak spot. nice work, sammy.

Dude slaps sam on tha chest Where the fuck dudez been injured n’ walks away. sam laughs through da pain.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch, i wish i could say da same fo’ yo’. What the fuck were yo’ thinkin’ shootin’ caspa in da face, yo’ freak?

 **Dean**  
Hey. saved yo’ goddamn ass.

“highway ta hell” by ac/dc begins ta play.

Dean leans ova ta look at tha ca.

 **Dean**  
I’ll tell yo’ anotha thang. if yo’ screwed the fuck up my fuckin’ car?

Dean twists 'round ta look at sam.

 **Dean**  
I’ll fuck yo’.

Sam laughs.

 _Highway_   
_(ext. highway – night)_

Da impala tears down da road; da right headlight be out.

 **Music**  
Livin’ easy, lovin’ free  
Season ticket on a one-way ride

Sam has da journal open ta “dean 35-111” n’ a map open on his muthafuckin’ lap n’ be findin’ coordinates wit’ a ruler, a flashlight tucked between chin n’ shoulda.

 **Music**  
Askin’ nothang

 **Sam**  
Okay, herez Where the fuck dad went.

 **Music**  
Leave me be

 **Sam**  
Dat shitz called blackwata ridge, colorado.

 **Music**  
Takin’ everythin’ in my fuckin’ stride

Dean nods.

 **Dean**  
Sounds charmin’. how tha fuck far?

 **Music**  
Don’t need reason

 **Sam**  
'bout six hundred miles.

 **Music**  
Don’t need rhyme

 **Dean**  
Hey, if we shag ass we could make dat shit by mornin’.

 **Music**  
Ain’t nothang i would ratha do

Sam looks at his ass, hesitatin’.

 **Sam**  
Dean, i, um…

 **Music**  
Goin’ down

Dean glances at da road n’ back.

 **Music**  
Party time

 **Dean**  
Yo’’re not goin’.

 **Music**  
My fuckin’ friends r’ gonna be there too

 **Sam**  
Da interviewz in like, ten hours. i gotta be there.

Dean nods, disappointed, n’ returns his muthafuckin’ attention ta tha road.

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch. yeah biatch, whateva.

Dean glances at sam.

 **Dean**  
I’ll take yo’ home.

Sam turns da flashlight off. they drive on.

 **Music**  
Highway ta hell

 _Apartment_  
 _(ext._ samz _apartment buildin’ – night)_

 **Music**  
I’m on tha highway ta hell

They pull the fuck up in front o’ tha apartment, dean still frownin’. sam gets out n’ leans ova ta look through da window.

 **Sam**  
Call me if yo’ find his ass?

Dean nods.

 **Sam**  
N’ maybe i can meet the fuck up wit’ yo’ later, huh?

 **Dean**  
Yeah biatch, all right.

Sam pats da ca door twice n’ turns away. dean leans toward tha passenga door, one arm goin’ ova tha back o’ tha seat.

 **Dean**  
Sam?

Sam turns back.

 **Dean**  
Yo’ know, we made a hell o’ a team back there.

 **Sam**  
Yeah biatch.

Dean drives off. sam watches his ass git n’ sighs.

 _(int._ samz _apartment – night)_

Sam lets his dirty ass in. everythin’ be dark n’ quiet.

 **Sam**  
Jess?

Sam closes da door.

 **Sam**  
Yo’ home?

Sam notices a plate o’ chocolate chip cookies on da table, wit’ a note dat reads “missed yo’! ludd yo’!”, next ta a national geographic. sam picks one the fuck up n’ eats dat shit as dude sneaks da fuck into tha bedroom, smilin’. da showa be audibly runnin’. sam sits on tha bed, shuts his muthafuckin’ eyes, n’ flops onto his muthafuckin’ back.

Blood drips onto samz forehead, one drop, then another; dude flinches n’ opens his muthafuckin’ eyes. dude gasps in horror: jess be pinned ta tha ceiling, starin’ down at his ass n’ bleedin’ from tha belly.

 **Sam**  
No!

Jess bursts da fuck into flame; tha fire spreads across tha ceilin’.

Dean kicks tha front door open.

 **Dean**  
Sam!

Sam raises one arm ta shield his muthafuckin’ face.

 **Sam**  
Jess!

Dean comes runnin’ da fuck into da bedroom.

 **Dean**  
Sam! sam!

Dean looks the fuck up n’ sees jess.

 **Sam**  
No! no!

Dean grabs sam off da bed n’ bodily shoves his ass out da door, sam strugglin’ all da way.

 **Sam**  
Jess! jess! no!

Flames engulf da apartment.

Afta da fire

 _(ext._ samz _apartment – night)_

In a scene much like tha end o’ tha flashback, a fire truck be parked outside tha building, firethugs n’ police keepin’ back gawkers. dean looks on, then turns n’ walks back ta his muthafuckin’ ca. sam be standin’ behind tha open trunk, loadin’ a shotgun. dean looks at da trunk, then at sam, whose face be set in a mask o’ desperate anga. sam looks the fuck up, then sighs, nods, n’ tosses da shotgun da fuck into da trunk.

 **Sam**  
We got work ta do.

Sam shuts tha trunk.


End file.
